2019

Hello Everyone,

I want to talk about my plans for this year, both professional and personal, but first I should touch on last year so check out the next post for my plans for 2020. Because 2019 was quite a turbulent year I think it is worth talking about. I remember saying in the 2017 appreciation post that:

A bit of a revealing year surrounding who you are as a person and how you approach (or will approach) things differently now compared to a year ago.

I'm starting to feel like this is becoming just an ongoing trend. Partly because I keep coming across new situations that mean a new part of me is revealed I hadn't had to deal with before and partly because old situations keep popping back up to deal with differently to the first time. Back in 2017 I said I was still thinking about the idea of getting into teaching after it was suggested to me by the Program Leader at the time. I ended up doing that and 2019 was my first year of teaching. I keep saying it was great and I really enjoy it but at this stage I haven't had a group that has been difficult to deal with. I'll come back to you with my feedback on that when I cross that bridge (I say when because I know it will happen).

However, it's worthwhile pointing out it was a highly stressful year. Especially in the later months leading into summer.

We had two major projects, I thought there was a chance one would be winding down as the other ramped up (for me at least, my higher ups were quite busy with both projects early on at around the same time). That... didn't happen. Both ended up aligning and hitting the critical point at nearly the same time. There were some late nights and stressful days as we frantically worked to meet deadlines. It was reaching a point where I was missing basic tasks in my role because I just had zero mental capacity left to think about it. Oh and at the time there was uncertainty around the entire institute due to the dreaded "corporate restructure". Anyone who's been through those knows enough about how stressful those are. So yeah, three things all kind of aligned into a perfect storm for me. And that's just the work stuff.

It wasn't all bad though. As with previous years I've met, or better got to know, people and am further picking up my own cues on the kinds of people that are as interested in what's going on with me as I am with what's going on with them and reallocating time where that doesn't line up. There's been a small number of people who have really helped me swim against the tide of a torrential river, and I apologise if I've been a bit distant lately but hopefully they know who they are and how helpful they've been. Also I guess as an extension to this how I prefer to hang out with these people. I'm starting to realise I don't need to have big lavish nights out (or in) with huge crowds of people, in fact I'm starting to prefer smaller groups and ordering in (or even cooking!) and relaxing in a private space.

Some things I was hoping to get done this year (not resolutions, just goals as you'll see in my 2020 post) but didn't really get to. A big one was probably getting into diorama and model making. Followed closely by getting back into woodworking more seriously. Both require more space than I have available right now, and a bit of cash I now see I can't afford to spend at this time. At least I've got the 3D printer and access to 3D modelling software to start messing with things I want to create in the diorama space so that when I do have the space and money I can start working on it again. I've got some tools and spare wood lying around so I can at least work up some little day projects when the weather is nice.

I guess I can sum it all up by saying that 2019, especially the second half of the year, was a regretfully stressful time that just didn't line up with where I wanted to be or what I wanted to do. So I guess something for 2020 is to head into the new year with a goal to do some things I've been putting off. More on that in my 2020 post though.

Have a happy new year everyone. I have spoken,

  • Scott

(did you get that reference?)