Archive of April 2020

Outing some Inner Discourse

This has been, and will continue to be, one of the toughest periods we as a generation have been through. "Social distancing", "physical isolation" or whatever the hell you want to call it is going to rain hell on everyone. We're two weeks in to a potential six month (or even longer) stint of this shit and I've already had it. I continue to grit my teeth and bear it because it's the right thing to do. It gets to a point though where even someone who prefers nights in or quiet nights with a few friends over clubbing or gigs gets antsy at the amount of time spent in one's own company.

The only thing I cling to is the thought that "this too shall pass", and all the things that have been put on the backburner as a result of this crisis will come to the forefront again. All I can say is that I'm here if you need to talk, I said a couple of years ago The door is always open, the kettle only takes a few minutes to boil and in the event I’m not here I’m just a phone call or a message away to at least get the ball rolling on talking. Because sometimes you just need someone to vent to, talk to, or get feedback from. I may not be the best at any or all of those things for your situation, but if you want to at least try, I’m here for you. While the door isn't really open at the moment, the rest still applies.

I read somewhere that this whole situation will be a prime opportunity for some people to stop and actually see what's right in front of them. Realisations that should have been made long ago but there was neither the time nor the solitude for one's mind to stop and think about these things. Or worse still the realisations that had been made but not acted on, and now can't be acted on due to restrictions. The ability to cast the mind back to events that could have played out differently had these realisations been made or acted on then rather than thought about now. That was actually one of my takeaways from Man's Search for Meaning that has kind of helped here. You can't change the past so it's not worth spending too much time thinking about it, really reinforced the line Chris said to me once "don't give too much gravity to your history".

This definitely came at a bad time for me personally, though I freely and wholeheartedly admit I'm not anywhere close to as bad as some have coped it. I still have a job and it is, at this stage, secure through all of this but it was bad from the perspective that I'd just started a new job. Two days in and the order comes down to start working from home makes the whole thing of learning a new role and the responsibilities very difficult. The entire team is adjusting to working from home so I'm not alone overall, but being new to the role makes it an extra level of work and is without doubt going to be the hardest part of the job. I know for a fact that, at least right now, I am not a work from home person.

On other levels the timing has sucked as well. There were places to go and people to see, dad's birthday was today and mum's is next week; we were due to travel to Queensland to see my sister and her family as celebration for mum but that is called off now with no idea when we'll be able to reschedule that trip. I had plans with a couple of friends to go and see MSO's Fantasia Live Concert, that's postponed. Plans to visit friends in Woodend the weekend just gone were called off a few weeks ago, lunches and dinners with friends that can't legally happen, celebrations, and even a call out to help friends move into their new house.

This too shall pass.